I'm really tired. I'm sitting at the back desk, hiding away like a fugitive, in full view of all who pass by, but I want to just flop over to the side and embrace unconciousness.
I'm in such an uncomfortable internal position right now. I haven't bathed (but I'm wearing a decent shirt to hide the fact), I'm tired, and I have to poop so bad my back hurts.
I would have taken care of that last little bit, but I pressed the snooze button 3 times too many and ended up waking up half an hour later than I probably should have.
I just yawned louder than was necessary. It was pretty much a shout. If I were more important to this glorious instiution people may have looked up. But they expect student workers to be freaks of nature.
And if you're expecting Igor, my presence isn't that shocking.
I'm having a REALLY hard time keeping my eyes open. That's the main reason I'm writing this; because it keeps my hands busy, which in turn keeps my mind busy. It's like when old people do crossword puzzles as an attempt to keep off the cold embrace of dementia. But it gets them anyway. You can't beat off Mother Nature.
But you can probably beat off Father Nature.
That was dirty. I'm sorry.
Anyway, before I went on that busted little extravaganza I had the full intention of telling you about Jewboy. And how much I hate him.
He is SO gross.
Don't get me wrong; I love me some Jewish men. They're my favorite. I want to lick sugar off of their shnozes. But not this homeboy.
He's about 5' 7" and of average weight. Maybe a little pudgey. But he has a complete absense of neck and these disgusting waify fingers that play with his greasy, dandruff-y hair while he talks on the phone to "Patti," a girl I am assuming is fat.
His voice sounds like a drag queen meets Urkle, and he insists on talking ALL the time. Either it's on the phone, or to this super friendly black guy with acne that rides the bus with us.
Oh yeah, he's on my bus. That's how I have come to know him. So not only do I have to hear this fool, but the noise echoes in the confines of public transportation.
My first encounter with Jewboy was a great way to set off a bad impression. This enormous cluster of people, including myself, was waiting for the bus when I hear the absolute worst music of all time blasting from some greasy point of space behind me.
I turn around and there he is... wearing green. As always. He has his baby blue slider phone out by his ear and is blasting emo-bitch femme rock like he's doing us some great favor. That fucking dick...
I'm really big on first impressions, and homeboy kicked off our fabulous pseudo-relationship (my hateful creeping) like a champ.
I hate him.
