Wednesday, October 20, 2010

My Dream (Imported from Facebook)

To begin, a few people who aren't as close to me as the other participants in this dream extravaganza (i.e. random classmates and the like) were all attempting to hike this mini-trail along a craggy water's edge. We had to return shortly and didn't want to get our socks dirty. It was EXTREMELY important that we didn't dirty our precious shoe underwear.

Somehow that transitioned to my family and I having been put in this canyon by some conspiracy. Why our little family was chosen was unclear, but nevertheless we couldn't touch the water. It had been poisoned and the entire  canyon was laced with a sort of super-effective small pox gas. This is the reason we were trying so desperately to get out. We had reached the end of the canyon; me and my dad had been sent on, because the going was hard. We were only about 20 feet from the rest of the family when we thought we had found salvation. We opened a microwave drawer within the cliff-face only to find boiled zucchini. Said zucchini was apparently the gas in it's purest form and we were henceforth doomed.

Sad life.

So my dad and I, having already been damned, swam over to the rest of the family through a sort of gaseous water that didn't get us wet. Knowing that we were most likely moments from death, having inhaled the zucchini gas, we all huddled together and tried to keep my cousin (who was 6 in this dream) from knowing what was going on. No one wants a little kid to die scared.

But just was we had all settled down to the point of reminiscing about the good times to die in a relatively happy environment, I decided that there was no way in hell that I was going to let my family die in such a pathetic way. So, being that I was already going to die, I began to scale the side of the mountain like MiMiSeeKoo at the beginning of that movie with Tim Allen. Jungle to Jungle?

Much to the surprise of everyone involved, I got to the top and dropped a line down to bring my pathetically shivering family to safety.

Enter Another Scene Shift:

Every one of my closest friends from high school, my family (who had apparently recovered quite well), and I were all at this extremely detailed, if incredibly macabre, theatre where my extremely sexy ENG 200 teacher was doing a one man show involving locking all of the audience members into the theatre and playing out his sick fantasies upon randoms he found in the darkness of the House. There was 16th Century-esque magic involved and it was supremely horrifying. For his final number, he somehow managed to get himself up to the rafters and drop down on the audience wearing an excellently crafted moth suit with a 40 foot wingspan. It was of fuzzy theatre curtain material and when he dropped down on us we were all suffocating. Once again death was imminent.

But my friend Sam and I managed to get free and run from the theatre. I have no clue what happened to the rest of the audience, but being that I didn't get that sickly tingly feeling, I'm assuming they all got out alive. But probably not.

Enter Another Scene Shift:

All my friends who would regularly be at a party were collected at this rundown house. There was graffiti on the external walls and the furniture was the type that you find under a tree in a riverbed.

Something was terribly wrong, but because I was smoking pot/tobacco out of what I remember to be the little baggy thing a tampon comes in (not the tampon, the protective seal) I couldn't focus on what it was. One of my exboyfriends was there and he could tell something was wrong too, but the thing was that only I knew what it was, and I couldn't speak.

Another of my friends was running around showing the world her cooch at this time, just for background info. Everyone else was just... engaged in normal party behavior. But I suppose that's normal party behavior too... Whatever, I digress.

Finally we came to the conclusion that the drugs were laced with a different sort of biological weapon and that we were all doomed.

Once again.

But as is my way, I escaped with a hybrid of three of my good friends and went to find the solution to this epidemic of shit that had become my life.

So the Hybrid and I were attempting to break into this "The Crazies"-esque holding facility, but then a truck came and I dropped to the ground to not be seen. The Hybrid was still behind a wall and couldn't be seen. However, for some reason I was wearing a construction worker's reflective vest, so I was caught in the headlights like a pheasant.

Men were running up to me to shoot me like a dog, but then Hybrid jumped out and told them that she was a photographer that they had hired to distract them. I told them that I was her assistant and they began to lead us inside.

But then Karen texted me in real life and I woke up.
I can only assume that I saved you all, but Karen made sure that no one will ever know.

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