As I write this, I'm fidgeting with my toes and biting my inner lip. I can feel my heart beating in my chest and let me just say that I'm pretty sure I could jump start a car with this bitch. My fingers are moving too fast for me to type with any accuracy, so I've typed, misspelled, deleted, and then respelled almost every word I've typed on this little bad boy.
My body cannot deal with caffeine. Period. Well... More specifically it cannot deal with NoDoz caffeine pills. But like the inhuman that I am, I still take them. Usually on an empty stomach.
Please take note that my phone just vibrated. It's Grace texting me, guilting me for not going to dinner with her and our friends. But I have homework to do. Which is exactly why I took those pills in the first place. My phone is entirely too bright for any situation. There's a little red beep going on because I flipped it over rather than read what she said, because I know that in my state right now whatever it says is going to put me into a panic or make me angry.
I want to throw it across the room.
I feel like I've just done a speedball. And I took the last pill at freaking 2:15. It's 6 o'clock! No one should ever be this affected by a single pill. Well... actually two.
But this isn't the first time I've taken these. And the same freaking things happened to me last time. But I'm a slow learner. I've got 8 of those pills left, and I'm not about wasting money. So the next month ain't gonna be cute.
I took one this morning because I was dozing off at work and no one wants their student worker to pass out while doing tedious data entry. That doesn't inspire much confidence from the nursing students who are, let it be known, fucking psycho. No one should ever be as driven as they are. And not even driven, completely obsessive. It's just beyond my comprehension. Probably because I'm the laziest creature ever to walk the earth and I'm majoring in freaking Literature (i.e. I'm reading.)
But anyway, I was totally fine after I took the first one, but of course, I took it on an empty stomach and my bowels were NOT happy. I was trying to read The Brothers Karamozov at work and all I could focus on was my writhing organs. And Facebook. Always Facebook. Because I'm a motha' effin' addict.
I almost didn't go to class today because I had to drop the kids off at the pool. But I did. BTW, when I went to write "pool" I initially wrote "poop" because my mind knows no censorship.
Anyway, I totally went. And it was kinda worth it. But whatev.
After that I had lunch with Filipe who I was like 4 seconds from stabbing the entire time because I was exhausted but my mind was going entirely too fast, and he was talking like Casey Affleck because the poor child is sick. But my psychotic brain couldn't handle that at ALL. So I was going to beat him to death the the Taco Bell he bought me. BUT I didn't and he lived. In fact, I'm pretty sure he had no idea that I wanted to kill him. He may now though, considering I am writing this now.
Nicole just came home and closed the door. It was SO loud.
But back to Philly. While I was eating lunch I took another of those badboys because I could feel the effects drifting away and I had another class to go to and be intellectually stimulated and frankly those peeps in that class are either a.) extremely intelligent and I need to be able to keep up, or b.) extremely pretentious and I've been known to say rude things to people when I'm sleepy. By the time I washed down the pill with my freaking delicious Diet Coke (yeah, I'm one of those fat girls who drinks Diet Coke because she thinks it compensates for eating 14 gorditas) my body had already released the chemicals because it has the placebo effect and my body freaking knows what's up.
So I was about to take my top off and sprint around Taco Bell. Or kill Phill with a random passerby. Either one. But I managed to control myself enough and channel my energy into laughing at pictures of Hipster Dinosaurs.
I fucking hate hipsters. BTW, Rimbauld, the French poet, was an early predecessor of the hipsters. And frankly that's all I kept thinking in the class I was in...
So I leave, go to class, judge people, make awesome mental connections pertaining to absolutely nothing, and begin my odyssey home.
I get to the bus stop and there is like seven thousand people at the damn stop. Call me a hypocrite, but I hate when people freaking huddle together when the bus comes and there's like ENTIRELY too much body heat all around the entrance to the bus and nothing gets done in a timely manner and it's just fucking bullshit.
So I get on the bus and sit next to this super sweet girl who moved her backpack for me. But then the other 6,998 people get on and the thing is PACKED. So then all my pent up energy went into freaking out about my situation.
- There were way too many people standing in the aisles.
- The smell and ominous density of body heat was just... indescribable.
- My neck hurt.
- It was SO dark.
- The guy standing next to me's pants kept brushing my arm. I was going to rip them off.
- My seat kept reclining when I didn't want it to.
- I'm feeling car sick. Which NEVER happens
- This imbecilic girl behind me with a unibrow and a disgusting shade of magenta on her lips and teeth was talking very loudly on the phone to her cousin about how her sister was in rehab and how she called her in the middle of the night last night to have a "heart to heart" and how her family expects her to stop everything and help her, like always, and how her life could never be complicated because her family doesn't listen to her or appreciate her and how everyone always thinks she has the perfect life because she never says anything and how blah fucking blah.
Then I get home. And I write this. And now I'm going to nap. Because I can STILL hear my heart beat and I'm STILL misspelling every word and I'm STILL fidgeting with my toes.
My body cannot deal with caffeine. Period. Well... More specifically it cannot deal with NoDoz caffeine pills. But like the inhuman that I am, I still take them. Usually on an empty stomach.
Please take note that my phone just vibrated. It's Grace texting me, guilting me for not going to dinner with her and our friends. But I have homework to do. Which is exactly why I took those pills in the first place. My phone is entirely too bright for any situation. There's a little red beep going on because I flipped it over rather than read what she said, because I know that in my state right now whatever it says is going to put me into a panic or make me angry.
I want to throw it across the room.
I feel like I've just done a speedball. And I took the last pill at freaking 2:15. It's 6 o'clock! No one should ever be this affected by a single pill. Well... actually two.
But this isn't the first time I've taken these. And the same freaking things happened to me last time. But I'm a slow learner. I've got 8 of those pills left, and I'm not about wasting money. So the next month ain't gonna be cute.
I took one this morning because I was dozing off at work and no one wants their student worker to pass out while doing tedious data entry. That doesn't inspire much confidence from the nursing students who are, let it be known, fucking psycho. No one should ever be as driven as they are. And not even driven, completely obsessive. It's just beyond my comprehension. Probably because I'm the laziest creature ever to walk the earth and I'm majoring in freaking Literature (i.e. I'm reading.)
But anyway, I was totally fine after I took the first one, but of course, I took it on an empty stomach and my bowels were NOT happy. I was trying to read The Brothers Karamozov at work and all I could focus on was my writhing organs. And Facebook. Always Facebook. Because I'm a motha' effin' addict.
I almost didn't go to class today because I had to drop the kids off at the pool. But I did. BTW, when I went to write "pool" I initially wrote "poop" because my mind knows no censorship.
Anyway, I totally went. And it was kinda worth it. But whatev.
After that I had lunch with Filipe who I was like 4 seconds from stabbing the entire time because I was exhausted but my mind was going entirely too fast, and he was talking like Casey Affleck because the poor child is sick. But my psychotic brain couldn't handle that at ALL. So I was going to beat him to death the the Taco Bell he bought me. BUT I didn't and he lived. In fact, I'm pretty sure he had no idea that I wanted to kill him. He may now though, considering I am writing this now.
Nicole just came home and closed the door. It was SO loud.
But back to Philly. While I was eating lunch I took another of those badboys because I could feel the effects drifting away and I had another class to go to and be intellectually stimulated and frankly those peeps in that class are either a.) extremely intelligent and I need to be able to keep up, or b.) extremely pretentious and I've been known to say rude things to people when I'm sleepy. By the time I washed down the pill with my freaking delicious Diet Coke (yeah, I'm one of those fat girls who drinks Diet Coke because she thinks it compensates for eating 14 gorditas) my body had already released the chemicals because it has the placebo effect and my body freaking knows what's up.
So I was about to take my top off and sprint around Taco Bell. Or kill Phill with a random passerby. Either one. But I managed to control myself enough and channel my energy into laughing at pictures of Hipster Dinosaurs.
I fucking hate hipsters. BTW, Rimbauld, the French poet, was an early predecessor of the hipsters. And frankly that's all I kept thinking in the class I was in...
So I leave, go to class, judge people, make awesome mental connections pertaining to absolutely nothing, and begin my odyssey home.
I get to the bus stop and there is like seven thousand people at the damn stop. Call me a hypocrite, but I hate when people freaking huddle together when the bus comes and there's like ENTIRELY too much body heat all around the entrance to the bus and nothing gets done in a timely manner and it's just fucking bullshit.
So I get on the bus and sit next to this super sweet girl who moved her backpack for me. But then the other 6,998 people get on and the thing is PACKED. So then all my pent up energy went into freaking out about my situation.
- There were way too many people standing in the aisles.
- The smell and ominous density of body heat was just... indescribable.
- My neck hurt.
- It was SO dark.
- The guy standing next to me's pants kept brushing my arm. I was going to rip them off.
- My seat kept reclining when I didn't want it to.
- I'm feeling car sick. Which NEVER happens
- This imbecilic girl behind me with a unibrow and a disgusting shade of magenta on her lips and teeth was talking very loudly on the phone to her cousin about how her sister was in rehab and how she called her in the middle of the night last night to have a "heart to heart" and how her family expects her to stop everything and help her, like always, and how her life could never be complicated because her family doesn't listen to her or appreciate her and how everyone always thinks she has the perfect life because she never says anything and how blah fucking blah.
Then I get home. And I write this. And now I'm going to nap. Because I can STILL hear my heart beat and I'm STILL misspelling every word and I'm STILL fidgeting with my toes.
SO MUCH ENERGY!
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